2003. According to critic Northrop Frye, “Tragic heroes are so much the highest points in their
human landscape that they seem the inevitable conductors of the power about them, great
trees more likely to be struck by lightning than a clump of grass. Conductors may of course be
instruments as well as victims of the divisive lightning.” Select a novel or play in which a tragic
figure functions as an instrument of the suffering of others. Then write an essay in which you
explain how the suffering brought upon others by that figure contributes to the tragic vision of
the work as a whole.
Response 1:
The first author does a good job of addressing all parts of the prompt in the introduction in a clear and concise fashion. He or she seems to have a solid grasp of language and can employ it well. The essay is divided into three different sections, each with their own separate argument. The author does summarize the plot, but also points to a particular event and explains how it affects the meaning of the work. The second body paragraph is a little weak and unnecessary; the author does not make a very strong point and it barely moves past plot summary. In the third body paragraph, though, the author explains how Gatsby as a tragic character unwittingly causes the suffering of others. The conclusion nicely wraps up the essay while adding more information. The overall structure of the essay is solid and easy to follow, but it still has some flaws and I do not think it deserves the 9 it received.
Response 2:
The second author begins by unnecessarily restating the quote from the prompt, which is not a very strong start. The introduction touches on the main parts of the prompt, but does not explain how the tragic character contributes to the meaning of the work as a whole. The first body paragraph is basically just a summary of the plot and brings up Hamlet without any sort of introduction. The paragraph does not even attempt to answer the prompt until the last few sentences, in which the author only touches on it. The next paragraph seems to have the beginnings of a decent analysis, but fails to completely explain the point it’s trying to make. The concluding paragraph just summarizes what was said in the essay without adding a fresh perspective. The essay ends abruptly, leaving the reader with only a vague idea of what the author is trying to prove. Overall, there is far too much plot summary and very little actual analysis.
Response 3:
The introduction of the third essay leaves much to be desired. Although it does, in a way, answer the prompt, the author does not explain nearly enough and does not connect the character to the meaning of the work. The second paragraph, which is only four sentences, is seemingly pointless and basically adds nothing to the essay as a whole. In the third paragraph, the author adds “downfall and destruction” in parentheses, supposedly to explain how McMurphy is a tragic character. The author goes on to end the paragraph with the vague statement, “others suffer along the way.” He or she does not seem to have a firm grasp of either the meaning of the prompt or the work and throws in a few advanced words here and there for no apparent reason. This essay is just a pretty length summary of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and does not answer the prompt whatsoever.
How much like an AP grader you sound; One would think Ives is writing. As I think this post is more about one's ability to identify points of weakness in essay writing than actually discussing the ideas of the writers, I think you do very well in your post. You competently and precisely choose particular issues with not only the writing, but as well with format and decision-making. I do think that you should, instead of simply pointing out flaws, also suggest solutions. The other half of revision must be included. You can also, if you so desired, say something you thought the authors did well. Just a possibility.
ReplyDeleteAlex,
ReplyDeleteThis is a pretty good post! I appreciate that you included the prompt that you used in this post, it makes it much easier to reference the essays you are responding to. I completely agree with you on the scores of each essay. I don’t think any of them deserved as high of a score as they got. But I guess that just means that we’re more likely to do well on the AP test. I can’t really think of much more to add to this, you did a great job. I feel like your critique is very close to what an actual AP reader’s will be like once we write essays for the actual AP. Keep up the good work, Al Chow.
Thank you for putting the prompt into the post. I realize that I didn't do that, and it was probably not the most fun thing for you guys to have to go back and find the prompt. Oops. You seem to have a pretty good analysis of the essay responses. You definitely understand how the open prompt essays are meant to be structured, and seem to have an easy time with finding what the major flaws of the responses were. I don't think there is much else to say, other thank nice job!
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